Sheer Exhaustion

I'm not trying to complain.  I know how very, very fortunate I am to have what I have.  A healthy daughter, loving husband, wonderful family, amazing friends and the job I've always wanted.

But, it's exhausting.  And I'm so forgetful these days, I'm lucky to have my shoes on the right feet every morning.

I know that everything is relative and everyone has their own exhausting schedules, but the first year of teaching (coming in to a class mid-year) with an infant (whom still awakes in the middle of the night) has worn me down.  I don't have one child anymore, I have 25.  After a long school day all I can think about is dropping on the couch, but that's not quite possible these days.  There's not much time for anything else.  There's no time to blog or even update my daughter's monthly milestones.  Hopefully I can squeeze in the 4 month this weekend.

As for teaching, I'm trying so hard to be the best teacher that I can be.  I'm constantly researching new, creative ways to teach the content.  I'm also teaching myself content at night before even teaching the next day. Besides, who knew that there were so many interesting things about cells?  Not me! 

As for Avery, she has been slipping back into newborn sleep patterns.  At one time she was basically sleeping through the night and now she is waking up around 1-2 am to feed and then again in just a few short hours.  I've read that this is typical for four month old growth spurts, but I'm having a rough time with it.  Last night she woke up at 2 and 5.  Ay.  Hello, long day! 

I'm not looking for pity or sympathy, but rather just a listening ear.  This post is for myself, really.  I know I'll look back on posts like this with fondness about having such a sweet baby girl and not remember how tired I was.  And that's why I'm even talking about it.  Because underneath it all I know that this too, shall pass.  

And now it's 8:45.  The moment I've been waiting for all day.  Time to myself and bedtime.  Night friends.   

Avery's First Snow

Richmond finally got its first, and probably last, snow storm of the winter.  Our county had President's Day off as a holiday but many counties around us were given the day off due to the snow.  What a wonderful feeling!  After Justin woke up this morning we headed outside to take a few photos of Avery seeing her first snow.  She wasn't too impressed but at least it was a great excuse to break out the pink snowsuit! 

I cannot believe how big she is getting.  I love my snow angel so much!  Next year I'm sure she will love to watch it snowing, but for now it was too cold for her and she let us know it.  The snow should be gone by tomorrow so we'll enjoy looking at it while it lasts.  We are having a great day and documenting our activities today for a future blog post.  I love spending my off days with my girl! 

She's not sure how she feels about the snow.  She does know that Mama takes way too many pictures. 

Favorite Finds of the Weekend

Monogram Block Letters from New Arrivals 

Trying to find little details for the nursery is my new decorating goal.  I love these monogram blocks by New Arrivals.  I'm undecided if I want to spell out Avery or just do her initials.  New Arrivals also has blue, chocolate and green blocks available so it would be fun to mix up the colors too.  

I also purchased this birth announcement for the nursery a while back and am finally getting around the hanging it.  I've got a large frame from Ikea that I'm going to paint white (it's currently rustic wood) and have a mat fit for it at Ben Franklin.  My idea is to hang the frame on the wall behind the comfy nursery rocker and to place a shelf just below it.  That's where the initial blocks come in.  I would love to place the blocks on the shelf with a few other cutesy things.  The wall I'm decorating is on the left in the nursery pic below!  

The nursery, in my opinion, will always be a work in progress.  It's our little sanctuary and I absolutely adore being in there.  It's so soothing, calm, and serene.  I only wish Avery thought the same! 

And totally non-decorating related, Justin got me these earrings from Stella and Dot for Valentine's Day.  I love them so much.  They look super fancy without the price tag.  The gold and aqua color combination is so gorgeous.  Thank you sweet hubby of mine! 

Last but not least, if you're a mama to a baby girl (or boy if you're into fancy pants smocking) you've just got to check out Smocked Auctions on Facebook.  I've already ordered Avery two of the cutest bubbles and I'm using everything in me to withhold from purchasing another.  The first one has come in and it's so precious.  The only problem that it almost fits her at 4 months and it's a 9 month size.  Praying she fits into it in the months to come.  Lobster bake, anyone?

For the Downton Abbey Fans

If you are a Downton fan, you will find these creations hysterical.  The season finale is on tomorrow night.  Will you be watching?  More fun at the following links...

Downton Abbey paper dolls by Vulture

 

Downton trading cards by Chad Thomas

13 in all!

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!  We are all, unfortunately, sick today but at least we are together.  I woke up yesterday morning and felt so nauseous and continued to be very sick for the rest of the day.  Poor Justin was also sick and when I called my mom to see if she could watch Avery for the day, she ended up having the stomach bug five times worse than I did.  We are a sad sight!  I took care of Avery but it was hard.  Really hard.  Stomach bug and caring for an infant are a bad combination.  

Thankfully today we are feeling a little better.  I was able to eat some applesauce and oatmeal.  Justin's fever broke so he's on the mend.  My mom said she is also able to finally look at a TV screen.  How awful to be so sick that your eyes hurt too badly watch TV.  

It's not such a romantic day today, but at least we are together.  

Recently I found that Tiny Prints has an amazing line of greeting cards.  I decided to try them out for Valentine's Day and I was so impressed.  I didn't feel the need to send cards to anyone but family members, because people are just going to toss them out anyway.  For $3.99 at Tiny Prints, you can get personalized cards with your photos, the same cost as a card at Hallmark.  Here are the fronts of the cards that I made.  Everybody loved them!  Justin's was my favorite.  

Justin's card

My parent's card

Justin's parents' card  

Check out the greeting cards!  Justin just loved his, especially when Avery handed it to him herself!

I wish everyone such a Happy Valentine's Day!  

It's Almost Friday...

Praise the Lord!  All that stands between me and the weekend is eight hours of school and a thousand Friday assessments.  I will survive, right?  On to more important things...

Now, time for an Avery picture!  

5 Things

1.  Do you watch Downton Abbey?  My mom sparked my interest in the show earlier this year and now I love it. Since my mom loved it so much I thought it would be rather boring (sorry Mama!).  I gave it a chance and it really is so good.  The time was so much more glamorous yet simple.  New episodes are on PBS on Sunday nights.  If you do watch, don't you want Mary and Matthew to get back together?  I am dying for this to happen.  

2.  I stayed home today from school and I've been worried crazy about my kids all day.  Are they behaving for the sub?  Will they still follow the rules?  Will my sub survive?  Augh!  I couldn't get into Word this morning so I went in to my trailer at 6:30 to set out everything and print off lesson plans.  It's only one day...I need to chill.  

On another school note, I have become obsessed with finding fun things for my fifth graders on Pinterest!  Here's an anchor chart for light that I found and the kids loved it!  We even created a foldable to coordinate.  

Pinterest via Beakers and Bumblebees

3.  Now that I'm not breastfeeding anymore I can eat dairy again.  Yippie!  Between the gestational diabetes and then a baby with a dairy intolerance, I haven't really eaten ice cream, pizza, lasagna or any really yummy things in a long time.  This isn't really going to help me lose weight, but, sometimes it's nice to indulge!  Here are some recipes I'm looking forward to trying.

Cheesy Taco Pasta via Lauren's Latest

Cheesy Garlic Bread via Lauren's Latest

Red Velvet Brownies via Smells Like Home

4.  My friend Grace at Watch Me Grow had her sweet baby, Emmy Paige, this morning!  I hope she doesn't mind me using this picture but how cute are they?  Avery is so excited to meet her new friend.  Go over and leave her some baby love!  

5.  I couldn't do a post without sweet Avery!  She is my favorite thing!  

Via Hipstamatic

Bittersweet

This is hard.  I've dreaded this moment, but have looked forward to it too.  After a lot of thought I am going to stop breastfeeding.  My heart has hurt during this process but at this point in time, it's the right thing to do.  The time I spent bonding with Avery in this way has been priceless.  

Since I started working full-time I've had trouble with keeping up a good pumping schedule.  I dedicated my teaching breaks and lunches towards pumping but, as teachers know, breaks doing always go as planned.  I've walked out of the door at 3 pm many days because I had no chance to pump and was hurting at the end of the school day.  This caused a major dip in my supply.  As frustrating as it has been, I cannot avoid being caught up in meetings or other time takers during the day.  

Cue last week/weekend.  I had a bad sinus infection, or a head cold, and I started taking Tylenol cold medicine because my symptoms were just too bad.  Knowing that I couldn't give Avery breast milk, I started a pump schedule but the medication that dries up your head from a cold, dries up everything.  I tried keeping on with pumping but it took me three sessions to even get enough for one bottle.  Talk about spending a lot of time with minimal effectiveness.

I've had problems with my pump also, so the combination of all these things has been too stressful.  Add in the dairy component and you can call me one big mess.  I'm trying not to be selfish but being a first year teacher with an infant is certainly stressful enough.  That is why I've decided to stop breastfeeding altogether.  Avery was fed breast milk for three months, which is definitely more than some babies ever get.   I'm definitely not trying to compare myself with others but I need to be proud of everything I've done up to now.  

Still, it's bittersweet for this time to be over.  My silly head thinks that she needs me less but deep down I know that's not true.  I can see her growing and soon enough she won't be my baby anymore.  It's just a hard thing for a mom to let go.